Building a Life for YOU After Divorce

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of the Divorce Woman’s Guide podcast.

How are you doing today it is Wendy Sterling your host and your personal divorce Woman’s Guide thank you guys so much for joining me in today’s episode which happens to be inspired by another podcast that I was listening to of a friend of mines and it has to do with why now is the exact moment in time that you get to start taking care of yourself.

So ultimately what today’s episode is going to address is how it is that you can start rebuilding you and crafting your life after divorce and why now is the time and it is crucial.

So the reason I’m saying that now is the time is because of what’s happening in the world of astrology and so you know if you guys are know anything about it or even if you don’t I’m not gonna go deep into it right now.

All I’m gonna say is that it has to do with where the north and the south nodes are in the world uh with the different you know with our different signs and it is going to be this way for the next months and so what I have been taught and told is that now is the time for us all to really start prioritizing ourselves and so today it’s I’m hoping that by the end of the episode that you are gonna see the importance and start shifting your focus inward and embrace the power of putting yourself first.

So I know that life moves very quickly um and we often find ourselves consumed by you know obligations, responsibilities, the needs of our kids, or our family members and or even we put our friends first and so what we’re gonna explore today is really this concept of embracing what I always say is the only time that exists which is the now and making yourself a priority right and part of this is self care.

So today I’m inviting you guys to even just sticking with and listening to this episode is a step in the direction of self care right because you’re nurturing your well being by listening to this podcast and you’re deepening a connection with yourself because you’re gonna learn about yourself.

So what does living in the present moment actually mean well living in the now means that you are not allowing your past to make decisions for you and you’re not going too far down the line in the future where you’re allowing any fears of um you know of guiding you in this particular moment right.

So many times there’s anxiety and stress that comes with the future and so I’m inviting you to release that I’m inviting you to release your past right release that you believe that your past is going to define you now or moving forward and embracing the now also means practicing mindfulness which I’ve talked about before.

You can find another podcast episode all about that but essentially what mindfulness is is it’s about just paying attention to your thoughts in the now and acknowledging them and recognizing that it is you know recognize them without judgment and seeing that you can actually allow yourself to reframe and release those thoughts and to shift and to keep going about your day and so being in the now really enables you to fully express all of the joy in your life right and creating the stronger foundation for yourself as you are moving forward in your life.

If you’re not in the now then you’re not practicing gratitude you are not in a place where you are being present with not just yourself but also your kids and really you know putting away the distractions and you know I know that you’re listening to me and I’m not saying that this is a distraction but stop multitasking right be in this podcast right now.

I’m inviting you to like if you’re sitting in front of the computer and listening to me I’m inviting you to like turn off your screen turn to the right it’s a short episode and just be with me okay.

Stop multitasking the other part of you nurturing yourself is learning the art of a boundary that I love using and I love teaching and that boundary is saying no and I know that saying no is really hard I’ve been there and what I can also tell you is that it is hugely empowering and when we set boundaries in our life and with every person in our life it is us standing in the power of us putting ourselves first.

There is no easier way to put yourself first than to learn how to say no, set a boundary, and assert yourself politely with respect of course and kindness when necessary okay so remember that putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are being selfish it doesn’t mean that you are um you know it’s selfless right.

I know that when I take care of myself I am a better version of myself to everybody else in my life and so a lot of times what I’m asking you to do is in order for you to rebuild yourselfyou’ve got to be able to put yourself in a place where you are recognizing you know what is valuable to you right like where are you choosing to put your time and your energy because your life is gonna reflect where it is that you’re putting that and I would bet that it’s not where you want it to be another part of this self care element that’s really important is all about nourishing your mind body and soul right it’s this trifecta.

Self care doesn’t mean going out and getting a massage or going out and getting a manicure right sometimes this could be as simple as letting yourself go out and take a minute walk it could be just sitting in the sun and getting some vitamin d for a couple of minutes between calls which is something I do every single day um cause I work from home and you know it’s very easy to stay indoors all day. It it’s also nourishing yourselfthrough picking up new hobbies you know I’ve talked about recently how I picked up I picked up tennis over about a year and a half ago and that’s other than my ankle injury um that’s a hobby that I’m now exploring more in nurturing myself that’s part of my self care.

I’m also continuing to learn right like I love reading books I you know this podcast is inspired by one that I was listening to where I’m learning about astrology right and so anytime we can prioritize our mind our body our soul we are deepening our connection with our inner self by it’s almost like you know it’s it’s kind of like you know gifting yourself with additional therapy right introspection right and and it’s it’s so nourishing.

Anytime you’re able to do something for yourself I can’t stress it enough you guys um it’s also really important you know this is something that I think is very um I don’t know that it’s underrated but it’s something we don’t talk about enough which is part of you also being able to recognize that now is the time to take care of you.

In order for you to do that you also need to make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with positive influences. So take a look think about the people that you are currently surrounding yourselves with how are they impacting your well being, your mindset, your daily life. It is so important to make sure that you are cultivating a supportive network of friends and influences in your life and being open to considering releasing relationships in your life that don’t serve you right.

People that don’t inspire you or uplift you because that can be a reason why you are not putting yourself first and you are staying in this negative place um the last thing I just wanna invite you guys to understand why now is so incredibly important to take care of yourself and to prioritize your well being and that is through the practice of grace, gratitude and courage to put yourself first.

So practicing Grace having Grace for yourself, practicing gratitude, and digging down into yourself and bringing out that courage making it conscious are some of the most powerful ways that each and every one of you guys can dive into the importance of self growth and self care.

What I want you guys to think about is how much time, how much of your day are you actually spending being in gratitude that you are showing yourself Grace that you are being courageous right what is it through those acts that you can learn about yourself?

What are the insights right so some of those benefits are going to reduce your stress, it’s gonna improve your overall well being, it’s going to improve your mental health, it’s going to build stronger relationships with the people in your life.

It’s also going to build resilience right and I can’t tell you how incredibly important it is when you increase your self awareness right so being aware of your thoughts, your emotions, your behaviors, it helps you to recognize patterns that are no longer serving you or triggers that continue to spark in you things that you’re not proud of.

How is it that you can reflect on ways in which you can take better care of yourself right and so I really hope that today’s episode has taught you guys really how to prioritize you, how to take time now for you to embrace the present, to nurture your mind, your body, and your soul. So that you will be better equipped to navigate any challenge that comes your way and ultimately what is important to me for for each and every one of you guys is that you are living life authentically that you are embracing the moment and you are doing so with your heart completely open but open to what is serving your heart what is bringing your heart warmth and joy and peace and ease right it’s important that each and every one of you.

Cultivate a sense of gratitude and learning how to gift yourself with Grace and how to dig into what courage looks like for you because what I know is that those three things are going to lead to a much more positive and fulfilling life.

It is gonna allow you to create the most amazing chapter of your life because listen I know that divorce is the end of one chapter of your book but it’s also the beginning of a new one.

It is now that is your chance to rebuild and craft that life that is authentically yours so I invite each and every one of you guys to embrace all the opportunities that are literally handed to you every single day if you are present and in the now you will see them and you get to learn from your past, and step into the future with confidence and self assurance and remember that you have the power to rebuild and thrive in your next life.

So thank you guys for joining me today in this episode I always love sharing your feedback so please be sure to share it with me you’re always welcome to email me at wendy@wendysterling.net. I hope you guys also remember that if you are somebody who is really looking to get support I always offer complimentary support calls.

You can go to contact me and schedule one for yourself don’t forget that and be sure to also join my amazing private Facebook group Divorce Rehab with Wendy and don’t forget to that you wanna be sure to hit subscribe and leave me a star review and share this episode or even just this entire podcast with anybody else who you think might benefit from listening to my words of wisdom and remember you guys that no matter where it is that you are in your divorce process I am here to support you with nuggets of information to help you navigate wherever it is that you are in your process.

I want you to be living the most abundant life possible, it’s possible for each and every one of you guys so in my heart of hearts I send you guys so much love light and joy as always Mwah bye everybody.

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of The Divorced Woman’s Guide podcast if you like what you hear please be sure to share this episode with someone you know or spread the word on social media.

That is how I’m able to reach more divorce aids around the world and provide them with the support that they need to create their next best life and I would love to continue the conversation with you. So please friend me on Facebook, join my private Facebook group The Divorce Rehab with Wendy and follow me on Instagram at Divorce Rehab with Wendy. I’ll see you next time.