Surviving divorce has taught me many lessons that help me navigate through these tumultuous times. Some of what I’m going to share is not often discussed but is important for every one of you guys to know.
Top points you’ll discover:
✔️ My divorce taught me how much I needed to control things. Dictating on others or trying to fix what can’t be fixed can get SO exhausting. We can only focus on the things that we do have control over, and that is ourselves. It’s not just our actions; it’s our choices, behaviours, reactions and our responses. Doing so will save you time and energy and keep you from stress and overwhelm.
✔️ My divorce taught me never to disregard my intuition. I knew for quite some time that things felt unsettled until my separation finally happened. So many times, you hear them saying, well, it’s “mind over body.” While the truth is the opposite, where it should be “body over mind.” Your body has a reaction, and then your mind plays catch up. Start paying attention to that, and then learn how to retrain your mind to respond.
✔️ My divorce taught me who my real friends are.
I had a lot of people who were more interested in the breakup details versus my well-being. Every time I saw them, it was a continuous dig around what was going on. My kids were 7 and 10 at the time, and the last thing I needed was for them to hear stories from other people that weren’t coming from their dad or me, and it was nobody else’s business. That moment made me see the spectators and the real ones who genuinely reach out to give support.
✔️ My divorce taught me how to be independent. It wasn’t until my 40s that I learned how to live alone, manage my finances, & make my own decisions. This forced me to take a long, hard look and assess what I like? What do I truly want? What do I desire? Such was a luxury when I was married. How many of you guys can relate to that?
✔️ The biggest piece that I learned in my divorce was my worth.
Growing up, I had consistently seen my worth through other people’s eyes. As a result of my divorce, I finally saw how frickin amazing I am, how worthy I am of anything and everything that I get to create for myself. My truth is yours, too: that you are deserving of creating the desires of your heart and worthy of health, wealth and love independent of anyone else.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
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Going through an immense betrayal can be the most difficult thing to get over. In fact, it makes it hard for us to trust others again. Believe me. I know how it feels. My ex-husband cheated on me, and he was the last person I’d have ever thought to be capable of hurting me. It took me some time to realize that trust has to start within ourselves.
After her son was born, Kristy Carruthers had to sell off their clothing, jewelry, and belongings. She started interviewing for jobs at four weeks postpartum. After living on credit cards for a few months, she just hit the end of the rope and ended up having to sell the house to pay the credit card bills. That’s when the mind shift happened. I said to myself, ‘You know what? This can never happen again. This is not acceptable.'”
When I was married, divorce was never on my mind.
It never occurred to me that it had to be something I should learn about.
Fast forward to today, it continues to be that gift that keeps on giving. It has taught me about myself more than I ever knew.
Even though I’ve undergone therapy, I still believe that what I’ve endured and experienced post-divorce unraveled five lessons that I never would’ve discovered on my own.