The holidays bring up a smorgasbord of emotions that stir up the dynamics of how we relate to each other. In this episode, we talk about the impact of divorce on you, your family, the extended family and managing your ex’s family during this time.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman’s Guide —The Impact of Divorce on Family Dynamics.
Top points you’ll discover:
✔️ Surrender to the shifts. People come in and out of our lives for a reason. This holiday season, know that it’s OK if your family dynamics shift. Allow yourself to redefine what “family” looks like for you this year. Accept the changes. Don’t let your divorce dictate what it seems like every year for you to enjoy and make the most out of this season.
✔️ If you spend the holidays that people usually don’t consider “normal”, it’s OK. Create new traditions that suit your family. While that seems sad or scary, there’s also so much excitement that comes with it.
✔️ There will always be new situations and circumstances because this is life. It’s really about how you navigate the bumps, managing in the now, choosing to show up and create something memorable and special for yourself and having grace for the emotions that come up during this time of year.
✔️ It isn’t very easy, but I know that just because it seems this way this year, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be the same in three years. I always tell my clients to root themselves in the now instead of worrying about how it’s going to be.
✔️ Family is not just by blood. What I know to be true about family is all about love, connection, respect and relationship. Therefore spending the holidays can also be about being with acquaintances and friends.
✔️ How do you deal with your ex’s family after divorce? It can be a struggle during the holidays when we become acutely aware of how incomplete things are, especially if you were super tight and close to your ex’s parents, siblings, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Have the grace for the emotions that come up for you and decide if you want to reach out, if you’re going to send gifts or still have a get-together.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy
Going through an immense betrayal can be the most difficult thing to get over. In fact, it makes it hard for us to trust others again. Believe me. I know how it feels. My ex-husband cheated on me, and he was the last person I’d have ever thought to be capable of hurting me. It took me some time to realize that trust has to start within ourselves.
After her son was born, Kristy Carruthers had to sell off their clothing, jewelry, and belongings. She started interviewing for jobs at four weeks postpartum. After living on credit cards for a few months, she just hit the end of the rope and ended up having to sell the house to pay the credit card bills. That’s when the mind shift happened. I said to myself, ‘You know what? This can never happen again. This is not acceptable.'”
When I was married, divorce was never on my mind.
It never occurred to me that it had to be something I should learn about.
Fast forward to today, it continues to be that gift that keeps on giving. It has taught me about myself more than I ever knew.
Even though I’ve undergone therapy, I still believe that what I’ve endured and experienced post-divorce unraveled five lessons that I never would’ve discovered on my own.