Lady Gaga’s and Bradley Cooper’s performance of Shallow at The Academy Awards gave me goosebumps, left me breathless and made me envy their connection and chemistry whenever they perform that song together. Chills, right? The internet is buzzing with rumors that they must be in love, after all Lady Gaga called off her engagement last week. The media loves a good love triangle! News flash – Bradley Cooper has a serious model girlfriend who was also in the audience at the Oscars. Come on America . . . gossip is just that. Rumors. And well timed for the show tonight (aka drive ratings).
Anyway back to Lady Gaga . . . Shallow is a love song, but one that is a conversation between two people who truly love and understand one another. A connection so deep in their souls they invite the audience to watch what is possible between two people when you are present and listen to one another – to the words being spoken and hearing what they mean to the other. And most importantly they acknowledge seeing who each other is – faults and all. We crave intimacy with our partners in the same way. This, to me, is what makes their chemistry so strong and their story believable. And enviable.
As an adult I have not only become a better listener, but also a better communicator. Seeing and hearing someone doesn’t mean that you have to have gone through what they did. Instead it means being with them wherever they are in that moment – and just listening. Silence in these moments is comforting – as well as a simple acknowledgement for where they are at. The world has us programmed to move quickly like a to-do list. We are all so quick to rush through life AND emotions – ours and others – because we have kids nagging us, dinner to make, an email to respond to, a text to send about pick up, etc. We run our lives like we scroll through social media . . . look for key words to grab our attention, maybe like the post, write a sentence and move on.
What might be possible if we just stopped, dropped and rolled?
Remember these words from grade school?
STOPPED: What might happen if you stopped thinking, doing, being for someone else? To me that is called being selfless.
DROPPED: What might happen if you dropped the phone, put down your pen/paper, and gave someone your undivided attention? To me this is called being present.
ROLLED: What might be possible if you rolled with or acknowledged the person in whatever emotion was overcoming them instead of trying to relate or push them through it quickly? To me this is called acknowledging.
What is more important than a loved one wanting to be heard or seen? Why is it so hard to have an open dialogue with one another – to connect? Eyes, ears, hearts – ALL OF IT! When two people truly listen to and see one another, intimacy occurs – a foreign word to many nowadays.
I believe this is why we are so drawn to what happens on stage between Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. We crave what they have . . . and we don’t give ourselves enough of it. We crave being heard and seen – let them be an example that it is within our reach and power.
We need to be more present with our loved ones.
We need to acknowledge our loves ones for what they are feeling and where they are at. And we need to use our voices to ask our loved ones for the same in return.
You don’t have to agree or disagree with where they are – you just need to be present and listen.