A question that I get asked all the time is, are you happier after divorce or, better yet, does divorce increase your chances of happiness? My experience tells how separation in itself is definitely a tedious, painstaking process. Regardless of whose choice it was or the reasons behind it, you do have the opportunity to create a better life after divorce. In this episode, we go deep into how to be happier after divorce.
Top points you’ll discover:
✔️ Women tend to be happier after divorce. Women are more likely than men to seek out support and community for the emotional trauma they are experiencing. Traditionally, men try to keep it close to the vest (not all, but most try to deal with things on their own with emotional upheaval). So the amount of time they spend in suffering is prolonged, and therefore the time it takes to heal takes that much longer.
✔️ Women seek out new experiences. Activities that enrich your life and give you a sense of hope is an excellent way to cope. If you love attending women’s retreats, I host one in October in Tucson at Miraval Arizona Resort. This is a splendid way to nurture ourselves with a fantastic community.
✔️Women are more likely to prioritize their needs. Granted, many of us put other people first. But one of the things that I know to be true is that we do put our physical health and wellness at the forefront. And sometimes, we need a reminder around that. One of my saving graces, when I was dealing with the trauma of my divorce, was running. It helps my mind sort through where I was, what I was doing, and the right direction for me.
✔️ Women have a strong sense of perseverance. Our resilience demonstrates our ability to get things done. We moms tend to take on a lot of responsibility as it relates to the home and also as it relates to our kids. And I know that when I was presented with the opportunity to be single and raise my kids, it wasn’t even a question of whether I can do it right? It was a question of what is going to happen, what is it going to look like? And I relished stepping into that role and taking it head-on. We always figure it out.
✔️Women can be comfortable in our skin being alone. When you understand that jumping into a new relationship is not the answer, what ends up happening is that you start dating yourself, rediscovering things you enjoy and are never allowed to explore.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy
Going through an immense betrayal can be the most difficult thing to get over. In fact, it makes it hard for us to trust others again. Believe me. I know how it feels. My ex-husband cheated on me, and he was the last person I’d have ever thought to be capable of hurting me. It took me some time to realize that trust has to start within ourselves.
After her son was born, Kristy Carruthers had to sell off their clothing, jewelry, and belongings. She started interviewing for jobs at four weeks postpartum. After living on credit cards for a few months, she just hit the end of the rope and ended up having to sell the house to pay the credit card bills. That’s when the mind shift happened. I said to myself, ‘You know what? This can never happen again. This is not acceptable.'”
When I was married, divorce was never on my mind.
It never occurred to me that it had to be something I should learn about.
Fast forward to today, it continues to be that gift that keeps on giving. It has taught me about myself more than I ever knew.
Even though I’ve undergone therapy, I still believe that what I’ve endured and experienced post-divorce unraveled five lessons that I never would’ve discovered on my own.