👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman’s Guide —Tune in to Co-Parenting Done Right – 5 Tips to Get Back on Track with Wendy Sterling.
Top points you’ll discover:
Tip #1: Always put your kids first. When you put your kids first, it essentially means that you are also putting yourself in their place. The best way is to think about how you communicate with your co-parent. If your kids were ever to get a hold of that voicemail or to see that email, would they find you coming from a place of bitterness or anger? Would you have no shame or embarrassment around how you were communicating with your ex?
Tip #2: Stop thinking that your co-parent will show up any differently than how you were together in the relationship. Truth bomb: your ex is never going to change. YOU will not help them change. They have to want to change by themselves. When we are constantly in the mindset of trying to get them to be somebody we want or expect them to be, we’re focusing on all the things that we don’t have control over instead of focusing on the things that we do have control over.
Tip #3: Create boundaries. Creating boundaries is crucial when shifting out of the marriage dynamic and into a co-parenting relationship. You make new limitations based on your role as mom or dad instead of coming in as ex-wife or ex-husband.
Tip #4: Co-parenting is a constant dance. The marriage may be done, but it is never over. When you share kids, your relationship is forever. That is just the reality. And so what I always say is be flexible. Sometimes the dance may go fast; sometimes, it may go slow. Sometimes you take the lead, and sometimes you don’t. But at the end of the day, you must make sure that you don’t compromise your values and compromise your individuality as you navigate a co-parenting relationship.
Tip #5: Less is more when communicating with your co-parent. How many times do you go into explanations and share too much information with your ex? Learn to master situations when you don’t have to give and entertain the extra commentary.
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy
Going through an immense betrayal can be the most difficult thing to get over. In fact, it makes it hard for us to trust others again. Believe me. I know how it feels. My ex-husband cheated on me, and he was the last person I’d have ever thought to be capable of hurting me. It took me some time to realize that trust has to start within ourselves.
After her son was born, Kristy Carruthers had to sell off their clothing, jewelry, and belongings. She started interviewing for jobs at four weeks postpartum. After living on credit cards for a few months, she just hit the end of the rope and ended up having to sell the house to pay the credit card bills. That’s when the mind shift happened. I said to myself, ‘You know what? This can never happen again. This is not acceptable.'”
When I was married, divorce was never on my mind.
It never occurred to me that it had to be something I should learn about.
Fast forward to today, it continues to be that gift that keeps on giving. It has taught me about myself more than I ever knew.
Even though I’ve undergone therapy, I still believe that what I’ve endured and experienced post-divorce unraveled five lessons that I never would’ve discovered on my own.