As an author, coach and expert on relationships, Lindsey Ellison went through 2020 with so much devastation and felt like dying from grief, self-doubt and shame. She never felt so heartbroken and like a fraud should she be “exposed” that her second marriage has failed.
Today she comes back stronger, wiser and happier with a book full of blessings.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman’s Guide — Blessings of a Breakup with Lindsey Ellison.
Key Points in this Episode:
✔️ Lindsey tells the desolation she went through handling COVID, the kids and a failing marriage. “It just felt like the whole world was on me to manage, and I wasn’t managing myself. On top of that, I’m a coach. There was just huge cognitive dissonance between what I thought everyone thought of me and what I had to be. My world was falling apart. I had just stopped working. My husband doesn’t have a job. Within a couple of months, I was starting to have a nervous breakdown, shutting down all day, sitting outside, staring out, crying, depressed at everything.”
✔️ Codependency is like a disease — you can’t be cured of it, and you have to manage it. Lindsey shares how this is also a sort of addiction. “We have a thinking problem. We can’t manage our thoughts because we have had so much trauma and all this other stuff going on and things that we’ve learned are wrong.”
✔️ The ego is the chief operating officer of the belief system of our past. It takes courage and a whole lot of faith to move forward and hold the belief that you are no longer what happened to you in the past. While it feels painful when everyone expects us to “move on,” the process of healing may feel like forever but know that soon, you will get there.
✔️ With help from the world-renowned center for childhood trauma, The Meadows, Lindsey shares how she was able to understand how her past created a false belief system of her present, which continued to dictate and have control over her future.
✔️ Who’s your higher power? “I see this with my clients all the time. As women, we are culturally rewarded for making men our higher power. So that’s what I realized is when my higher power was gone, I felt utterly broken and lost. And that’s where I recognize I have to go, find the higher power within. So that’s really where my grieving started to shift and to dive in and connect with this thing called God.”
✔️Lindsey sends a daily email, Blessons of a Breakup — a short “Blesson” (a blessing with a lesson) to help readers heal from pain, to think differently about a breakup and future romantic partnerships.
Connect with Lindsey Ellison
Lindsey Ellison is a breakup breakthrough coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc., a coaching practice dedicated to helping people navigate their divorce or break up.
She is the author of the best selling book, MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist and her latest book, Blessons of a Breakup.
Get Lindsey’s book for free if you opt-in to the daily email, Blessons of a Breakup.
Find Lindsey on her popular podcast, Unbreakable You: Breakup Without Being Broken or visit her website www.lindseyellison.com
Going through an immense betrayal can be the most difficult thing to get over. In fact, it makes it hard for us to trust others again. Believe me. I know how it feels. My ex-husband cheated on me, and he was the last person I’d have ever thought to be capable of hurting me. It took me some time to realize that trust has to start within ourselves.
After her son was born, Kristy Carruthers had to sell off their clothing, jewelry, and belongings. She started interviewing for jobs at four weeks postpartum. After living on credit cards for a few months, she just hit the end of the rope and ended up having to sell the house to pay the credit card bills. That’s when the mind shift happened. I said to myself, ‘You know what? This can never happen again. This is not acceptable.'”
When I was married, divorce was never on my mind.
It never occurred to me that it had to be something I should learn about.
Fast forward to today, it continues to be that gift that keeps on giving. It has taught me about myself more than I ever knew.
Even though I’ve undergone therapy, I still believe that what I’ve endured and experienced post-divorce unraveled five lessons that I never would’ve discovered on my own.